Monday, September 24, 2007

The ol' bait and switch

So a few weeks ago I said how I was going to be singing in this talent show for some foreign teachers. Turns out I was a little mislead, we get to this dinner/performance and I see these dudes carrying cameras and cables and shit into the hall. I ask myself I wonder why all of these cameras are going where I am going. So I ask the secretary who is acting as our interpreter and she begins to tell me that we are being televised, to Henan province. I ask oh is it live she says I think so. Henan has more than 100 million people living in it. So I was literally televised to a potential audience of like 80 million people. Not exactly what I signed up for, and of course we had to follow this proper Opera singer and we looked like total amateurs. Here that is kind of how things work, people always undersell everything, telling you just enough to get you interested then by the time you agree to do it, it is too late.

On a more positive note I ordered my first meal in Mandarin without pointing at the menu was pretty proud of myself and I didn't have to repeat myself either.

Still missing Primanti's


Wednesday, September 19, 2007


There are a lot of things that I expected when I came here, language barrier, jet lag, being a psuedo-celebrity etc. But there are a few things that have happened which I have not expected. For instance, I have these powerful food cravings. It has been more than three weeks since I have had any western style food, basically (cheese, pasta, hamburgers, french fries, ketchup, sliced bread, a salad, a proper sandwich, hard liquor, tacos, burritos, salsa, chips, nachos, hot pockets, uncrustables, well you get the idea) and I have been having intense cravings. I feel like this must be how a pregnant woman feels waking up and wanting pickles at 3 in the morning because I am not joking when I say I have had dreams about food. I never would have guessed I would have a dream about food. In them I am usually eating a pizza or taco, although for one of them I was in Primanti Bros., and it tastes so good I mean unbelievably good better than anything you have ever tasted before. THen I wake up and realize oh more rice yay!!!! It is one of those things that I never would have expected. But, this will probably subside because I just got paid and am going to splurge on the essentials, Jim Beam, Good Cheese, Pizza Sauce and Bread "hmmmmmm bread".

Adios y Vaya con Dios,


P.S. i figured out a way around the Great Firewall of China so I am now able to read your comments although I think I have a whopping one.

P.P.S. I will try to update this every day or two to keep you entertained while at work/class for you people in law school.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Life in a foreign country

I would say life here is interesting, if not compelling. The way the Chinese live is strange to say the least. They are the nicest people you have ever met really sincere even in the most naive way, but they do some really retarded shit. It is kind of hard to explain without specific examples but just the fact that you go to a bathroom and realize that place probably hasn't been cleaned since the restaurant opened you realize how nice the west can be. By the way those bathrooms are not really bathrooms, just a glorified hole in the floor that happens to flush. I like to call them squat pots but there are other less dignified names for them. What is ironic is no matter who you ask here they love to tell you that they have been a civilization for more than five thousand years, ironically they are not really all that civilized. They eat crap food, have no real manners (i.e. spit on the floor in a restaurant, blow snot rockets in public, stare incessantly at you, and oh yeah have their less than 5 year old kids shit and piss right on the sidewalk). However I digress, life here is really not all that bad just really different I think that is best way to describe china, different. I mean it really is one of those things that you have to see to believe. What is crazy to me is that I have been here just about a month and most of this stuff just doesn't faze me anymore.

That's about all for now.


P.S. oh yeah just so you know safety and hygiene are words that just don't translate in the Chinese language.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

So I guess I was wrong

China in its infinite wisdom has blocked anything with in front of it however I can still access it on the backend. So while I might not be able to actually see what my blog looks like in the finished state I can actually make posts to it. Weird I know but anyway now I know that I can make posts to it and hopefully someone out there is reading them. I can't, however, read any comments so just email me. Anyway, I have to go plan my lessons for the week, I was thinking about playing taboo with the kids and then having them compete with each other. I can basically choose any thing I want to do. The leeway they give me is ridiculous, but hey that's China. The more time I spend here the more I realize there are somethings you will just never understand. Oh yeah we are performing in a talent show next friday so I will be singing Hotel California in front of like 500 people, should be interesting. Anyway that's about it for now. I will post more cool stuff. Oh yeah one last addendum we are going to this mountain on saturday so I will take lots of pictures and post them on the internet.

Over and out.