Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A fleeting moment of clarity....

You know those moments of clarity you get every once in a while, the moments that cause you sit back in your chair, the ones that can silence a crowd in a loud bar, the times that you can reflect on your life and where you've been and where you are going.

Those moments are rare, so few and far between, that we try to grasp on to them for as long as we can. I decided when I was having one about five minutes ago that I'd sit down and write it out. So as in a few days when my mind has switched gears and I'm worrying about some trivial matters that I can read this again and reflect. I've decided to share it with the world so that I can be held accountable.

This blog like so many things in my life is incomplete, a work in constant progress that I start so passionately and end up fizzling out on. I'm lucky, I am smart (and I swear I'm modest), by smart I mean that I can coast in life. I just need to work ever so hard to get by and I can. I have the ability to turn it on when I need to and get me out of or into situations when I need to.

I know how cliche it is to say that I was inspired by a movie, but I was watching one this afternoon and it really touched home, and made me reflect on who I am and what I'm doing on this rock flying through space.

I don't pretend to be a philosopher or to know everything, there was a time in my life that I truly believed I knew everything, but the older I get the more I realize how little I actually know. But one of the things that I do know is that I am lucky and loved and it makes me feel whole inside. I am lucky to have a caring friends and family and to have come from a family with enough means to raise me right and give me a good education.

I've decided that I'm gonna turn a corner, I'm tired of turning it on only when I need to, I want to turn it on for good, to inspire people, to do things that help and change this world. To know that I left this place better than I received it. I might only be 26, but I want to realize this before I've exhausted my chances.

I'm tired of being lazy.

If anyone is reading this...it's only the beginning.

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